My Mustache

"Textual Harassment" could very well be detrimental to my reputation/image. Some people would advise me to just buy a journal, but for some reason I feel a desire for people to see another side of me. I'm better at keeping other people's secrets than I am at keeping my own.

I didn't go through puberty until about late freshman year, maybe even sophomore year. I know this because when I played freshman football I was still a little boy going up against testosterone flaming young men. I couldn't lift weights, I couldn't block, and I certainly could not take the angry man yelling/spitting in my face because I couldn't block baby Shaq over there.

The combination of being a late bloomer and having blond hair has caused me to suffer from "lack of facial hair." This might not be a big deal to some, but to me it's like a deformity. Ever since I was young I have wanted facial hair. I always begged my dad to grow some kind of beard, goatee, mustache, so he could be like Chuck Norris (I loved Walker Texas Ranger). Whenever I dressed up for anything, I would look for excuses to draw some kind of fake facial hair--got pretty good at it too. See the key is to draw a ton of little lines that somewhat match your hair color, (for me I chose brown because yellow wouldn't show up...and blond looked too Spencer from the Hillzy) and then smudge those lines to create a fairly convincing scruff (for a twelve year old I guess).

Now as I am growing up, my facial hair is finally taking form--ugly form, but form nonetheless. Now if I wait a week, you can see some beard action if you look at it from the right angle in the sunlight. It's pretty exciting. As a matter of fact, I haven't been this excited since pubic hair.

The only problem with this facial hair is that it still looks amateur. If I let it grow awhile it just looks like a fifteen year old kid who's parents haven't bought him his first razor yet. However recently I have decided that I don't give a shit, and although a beard is my ultimate goal and would look super sweet, I have decided to shave myself a mustache--that's right a mustache. It started weak, but it has grown to the point where people have recognized it without cocking their head. You want to give me the ultimate compliment? Comment on my facial hair. Regardless if it's meant as an insult or not, the sheer fact that you noticed my facial hair would make me giddy.

*Now this blog takes a little more of a serious tone--"ahhh dammit Nick!"

This mustache is a symbol to me. It represents the end of my obsession for the need to validate my image. My mustache, no matter how immature, is real. It is not artificial. It is also a reminder for me to stop trying so damn hard. I don't mean that academically or professionally speaking, but more socially speaking. It's my barrier. Without my mustache I actually stand a chance, with it I don't. That is why I need it; to be reminded of that. Not many people (if any) will understand this reasoning. Reading it out loud even sounds ridiculous. But if one person can relate to it, then that's a success for me.

I also just REALLY like Chuck fucking Norris!

(I promise I really will try and write a light-hearted one soon!)